I'm hungry, you eat

A few years ago I came up with this metaphor. The healthy version is:

I'm hungry, I eat.

Some dysfunctional versions are:

I'm hungry, you eat.
I'm hungry, I'll feed you
I'm hungry, I won't eat
I'm hungry, nobody eats
I'm hungry, I'll eat you
I'm hungry, I'll eat mysel.

Let's try it out in Shakespeare:

GHOST (to Hamlet): I'm hungry, you eat Claudius
HAMLET: I'm not sure I'm hungry, I don't know if I should eat Claudius
Followed by:
...Oh god, I ate Polonius
...Mother, don't eat
...Woops, I ate Ophelia
...I put an "EAT ME" sign on Rosencrantz & Guildenstern, and someone did
...Woah, someone ate Yorick
...Dang, I didn't want to eat Laertes
...I'll eat Claudius
...Claudius ate me.
CLAUDIUS: I'm hungry, I'll eat you
GERTRUDE: I'm hungry, I'll eat you, then you eat me
POLONIUS: I'm hungry, I'll send Reynaldo to eat Laertes, and Ophelia to eat Hamlet.
OPHELIA: I'm hungry, I'll eat myself
FORTINBRAS: I'm not hungry, why did they all eat each other?

RICHARD III: I'm hungry, I'll eat everybody
LADY ANNE: I'm hungry, you eat me
BUCKINGHAM: I'm hungry, you eat, I'll eat your leavings.
QUEEN MARGARET: I'm hungry, none of you will ever eat
CLARENCE: I'm not hungry, don't eat me

ROMEO: I'm hungry, you eat me.
JULIET: I'm hungry, I'll eat you.

JULIUS CAESAR: I'm hungry, I'll eat.
CASSIUS: I'm hungry, I'll get Brutus to eat Caesar.
BRUTUS: I'm not hungry, I'll eat Caesar. (Which explains why he is such a curiously blank character -- why the hell is he eating if he's not hungry?)
MARC ANTONY: I'm hungry, I'll eat Brutus.

LADY MACBETH: I'm hungry, you eat
MACBETH: I'm hungry, I'll eat
KING: I'm not hungry, don't eat me
BANQUO: You ate me, I'll make sure you're hungry forever
WITCHES: We're hungry, we'll make you eat yourself

Okay, enough.